Saturday, October 6, 2012

WTF is your name

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." – Juliet Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Everyone has a name. Celebrities as well as normal people have kids for some odd reason. These people also think your supposed to be coming up with the most ridiculous names. No longer are traditional names the way to go.
                Now I understand changing a letter in a name to make it more unusual, but not letting it get out of hand. A good example is Catherine or Katherine. Not a huge difference, but not overly excessive. But when more than three letters are change, manipulated, or added, this is where the line should be drawn. People just don’t seem to care; they think they are making their child unique by doing this. When in reality it makes people wonder if the parents have an IQ of above 50.
                The people I feel sorry for are teachers. Each year they have to learn new names and at higher grades with different classes, there are a lot more names to learn. The worse part has to come the first day of classes. Teachers get their lists of kids for the class and have to figure out how the names are pronounced. I would not be surprised if the first day of classes starts out like this:

“ OK kids. What were going to do is I am going to spell the name, and whoever has that name raise your hand. Then I will write the correct spelling next to your name so I know how to say it. OK. The first name is spelled: G-R-A-I-S-T-I-A-L-E-Y.”
A little girl raises her hand. “My name is Crystal.” With a raised eyebrow the teacher writes the name on the sign in sheet.
“ OK. The next name is: M-Y-I-E-A-C-L.”
A boy in the back raises his hand. “It’s pronounced Michael.” Shaking the head the teacher writes the name on the sign in sheet.
“Next name…oh dear God. We have: Q-U-I-O-T-Z-L-A-N-C-I-F.” This causes two hands to be raised. “Seriously?!? Two of you!?? How do you say your names?”
Rubbing the head, the teacher lets out a sigh. “ OK class. I’m going to stop now. I’m going to give each of you an assignment for tonight. Go home and kill your parents for giving you such F’ed up names. You will get arrested yes. But when you go to court and state your case. I'm sure the reason that your parents gave you such a crazy name. I guarantee, 99% of all judges will understand and let you go.”

Now, as a disclaimer, I am not promoting anyone with a messed up name to go kill their parents for their screw up. So if you do it and try to blame me, you’re S.O.L. This was done as a comedic reason and I am now innocent. So you’re on your own.
For anyone thinking that I was exaggerating with the spelling of names, obviously you have looked around. While normal parents do these as well, you don’t hear about them as often.  While celebrities are plastered all over, it isn't hard to see some of the crazy names given to their kids.
Since I was going on about long weird spellings. I’ll reveal some crazy spelling of names of celebrity kids. While, some names are completely ridiculous, like Moxie Crimefighter, the spelling is correct. So here are a couple examples of crazy spellings of celebrity kids names:

Helen Hunt / Matthew Carnahan                               Makena'lei Gordon
Ving Rhames / Deborah Reed                                    Reignbeau
Olympia Scott-Richardson / Al Richardson               BreAzia Ranee
Lisa Bonet / Jason Momoa                                          Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha

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