From the Tap?!?

We all have memories from the past that we always bring up either because they remind us of the good times, sometimes for those bad times like for a close friend or family member who died. Maybe it was that night you got so drunk it was like The Hangover the next day figuring out everything you did and now it’s why you don’t drink.

I had one of these memories recently, particularly with my wife. It’s one of those events that we bring up every now and then to each other and each time it brings a laugh for both of us. It will be one of those stories we’ll be telling our kids and grand kids someday.

The story goes back to the first day we met in person. I clarify in person because we met through an online dating site. We talked for a couple months before we finally met at her dorm room.

Her dorm room was one of four in a small apartment setup. So she had three roommates. During our first meeting, I met two of them. It doesn't mean much for how many I met, but that I met one in particular. It’s because of her that we have our laugh.

Her roommate was from a city, and not used to a country setting or people from the country. So as we are sitting and talking her roommate from the city comes in from her class. Where upon meeting, she asks me some questions, including where I live, I say where it is and that it’s in the country.

Hearing I live in the country, the first follow up question was if I lived on a farm. I don’t mind the ignorance that her first instinct is that you live in the country you’re automatically a farmer. I can over look that since her first instinct wasn't that because I live in the country I’m automatically an inbred redneck hick with a deformed family member who plays the banjo.

I do inform her that I do live near some farms, but I don’t live or work on them. Her next question was if I ever see cows on the farms; a logical question. Her IQ must have risen 1 point with that question; my thought is maybe she’s not completely stupid. So I answer honestly that yes, I have seen cows before.

Now the follow up question is what my wife and I laugh about and recall just for the shear ridiculousness of the next question she asked, and remember she was completely serious when she asked the question. Do I have enough build up yet? The follow up question was:

Have you ever drank milk from the tap?

This is the face my wife and I made when we heard that. I think my IQ dropped when I heard that question. All I could do was stammer out the question, you mean drinking right from the utters? She responds, yeah, like right from the cow. I honestly can’t remember the next couple minutes following that because of the shear magnitude of my brain regaining any type of function. All I know is that we managed to set her straight that she meant unpasteurized milk and it would be drunk after being extracted from the cow into a bucket or container. There’s less than a 1% chance that there is someone getting under a cow and directly sucking on a teat for milk.

So my wife and I joke around with “drinking from the tap” every now and then. And I hope it becomes a weird lesson of there is such a thing as stupid questions.

Untold Stupid Stories of the ER

I have recently been lucky enough to be in a local Emergency Room of a nearby hospital. Why I was there or whom I may have or may not have been with doesn’t matter. Because it was the other people that night that got me thinking about this post.

On TV there are plenty of shows, real or not, that talk about weird stories, or even miraculous events to patient that have come into the hospital. Untold Stories of the ER depicts real events that have happened. The show is very interesting at times, from the doctor of a small hospital, so small that they don’t even have a maternity ward, try to deliver a baby in his ER, while another patient in near cardiac arrest at the same time. To the car accident that had a metal pole impaled through both the driver and the back seat passenger. Most the hospital drama shows tend to draw their storylines from real hospital events, with exaggeration at times to make it compelling TV.

But, as I sat in the ER waiting room, being a bit nosey, I overheard some things that came in to be seen, and either it was ridiculous or the patients made it seem worse than it was. For example, someone came in because of a toothache. A TOOTHACHE!!! I eventually inquired about it from a nurse and found out that toothaches happen quite often. What happens is the person will ignore the pain until it becomes unbearable. Then they call the dentist and find out they have to wait two weeks to be seen, so they come to the ER. Most they do is give the patient some antibiotics and send them on their way. This hospital does not have a dentist on staff or on call, so it maybe different at a hospital that has such access.

There was another man who walked into the ER, emphasis on WALKED in. I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t hear why he wanted to be seen, I assumed for his back. Why do I assume such? Well, after talking to the clerk, they told him to have a seat when he blurted out, very loudly: “I can’t sit down, my back is broken.” Now, by no means do I even come close to a medical degree, but if this guy’s back was broken, I’m sure there’s about a 95% chance this guy wouldn’t be able to move.

This is where my idea sprung from. For every legitimate case that comes through the ER for a real emergency, I would assume there are about three stupid cases that come in. This is a show I would love to watch: The Untold Stupid Stories of the ER. I know of one case that can be taken from the actual Untold Stories show. I remember seeing an episode, where a guy had broken his foot, and decided to make his own cast. He decided to pour cement directly over his foot to make his own cast. While it is stupid, I know the severity of the issue as the show portrayed. The cement dried directly on the skin cause even more problems than an already broken foot.

As a warning, the following paragraph/example is very gross, and should only be read if you really think you can handle it.

Another example, a story I once heard. A man came into the ER because of a potato stuck up his butt. The first question that comes to mind is one of the following: Was he drunk? Or how did a potato get up there? He was not drunk. Apparently the guy was with his mistress, and being unusually kinky, she put the potato up his butt. Unfortunately, the guy’s mistress did such a good job that they could not get it out. They had to come to the ER and he ended up having surgery to remove the potato. My guess, no one in the ER or OR staff had French fries for a few days.

This is where you should read again if you skipped that last paragraph.

If they can have shows on television talking about real cases, or even exaggerated cases. Then I want a show about the stupid, funny or outrageous cases that come in. The show shouldn’t be done in a cheesy manner either. No laugh track or host trying to make “funny” jokes. I think it would be more entertaining if the stories were being told with a completely straight face.

Netflix, I love you really, but...Part Three

Here we go, third installment, and should be the last.

Netflix should allow user profiles on accounts. Allow 5 profiles per account. The purpose of multiple profiles is so different family members can have their own Netflix tailored to their profile. The first profile set up will be the main user, be it a parent, or main subscriber paying for Netflix. The following features should be allowed for profiles:

·         The main profile has full access to all profiles.

·         The main profile can be password protected.

·         The main profile can control access viewed by other profiles to limited movie ratings or categories.

·         The main profile can give full access to other profiles may act like the main profile for access purposes.

·         Each profile will have their own instant queue to view.

·         The main profile(s) will have access to view all instant queues.

·         If the Netflix account has DVD queue as well, the main profile(s) can few all movies in the DVD queue and rearrange as desired.

·         Non main profiles can view only DVD’s they have added to the queue and what number on the list without ability to modify.

·         Profiles can be named to reflex members on the account.

I’m sure there can be plenty more to be added to the list of what profiles can do. The main reason I suggest individual profiles be made is for convenience. For me, my wife and I share Netflix. In our instant queue we have over 200 items saved. To take the time to sort out hers and mine would take a very long time. Then, if more titles get added, we both add what we want, when we want and if we don’t arrange them, they just get inner mixed again.

By having separate profiles, I can add what I want, she can add what she wants, and we can access our individual queues and know its only items we want to watch separately. As an alternative, we can use a new profile for movies and shows we both are interested in, so we can easily access that profile when we are together.

By having multiple profiles, everyone in the family can have one. Having the ability to limit access and monitor can make it easier for parents. If you have young kids that can navigate Netflix without help from parents, you can make sure they don’t end up watching movies they shouldn’t be watching. Personally, I wouldn’t want my kid stumbling across a Quentin Tarantino movie. For people that do have kids, I’m sure they want every cartoon possible, and there are a lot of cartoons that can clutter up your instant queue.

Each profile should be tailored to that individual profile. Just like the site does now with suggestions based on recently viewed or movies in the queue, each profile will see suggestions for their profile only.

While having all these features on the website would be nice, I like a lot of Netflix users use a consol to watch on my TV. So naturally these features from all 3 parts should be made accessible on the consoles. So when you go to Netflix, the first thing that appears is the profiles to select, and you can go about your merry way watching that profiles queue. There should also be category on the consoles to easily switch between profiles. So if my wife is watching in her queue, then I come home, we can easily switch to the profile we share to watch what we want.

As I said before, this would be a huge revamp of the websites, as well as the console for Netflix viewing. But with such features, it makes Netflix more appealing, in my opinion, and making everything for family/user friendly can make it more desirable over the competition. Will Netflix ever see this? I don’t know. If people think they should, then I say go ahead and show them this, see if they take it under consideration.

Netflix, I love you really, but...Part Two

I left off with more suggestions for Netflix, so I’m not going to waste more time with an introduction, let’s get right to it.

An issue I have with having instant is the lack of knowledge to what is appearing to view on instant and what was taken away. If I have a movie or TV show in my queue, online I can see about two weeks prior that I will be losing the movie or TV show. I have noticed Netflix seems to add/take away on the 1^st and 15^th of the month. While they do have a recently added section, some items stay on the list for a couple months, and they get inner mixed with new items, so it can make it tough to figure out if it’s something new, or I forgot was already available.

Therefore, Netflix should revamp an existing section, and make a couple new sections as well. First, revamp recently added. Next add a section called recently removed and a coming soon section.

Recently added should be revamped to include a drop down. The drop down should go to the dates when major content was added, such as the 1^st and 15^th when they tend to add/take away movies. So I can see just what was added on those dates without overlapping from previous release dates.

A new section called recently removed should be viewable. Many times I swore a movie or show was on instant but I cannot find it, when the movie or show was recently removed and I wasn’t aware of it. Similar to the revamped recently added, a date drop down to view the removal dates to see what movies or shows recently were taken away from instant.

The third section is coming soon. Netflix knows what movies it will be able to release to instant, on DVD queues they put a date next to the title a couple weeks prior. So why not have a section showing what is coming to instant. Similar to the prior two, have a drop down for each big release dates. Knowing what will be released in the coming months can get current subscribers enthused about what’s to come instead of them being released and play the game of figure out what’s new.

I’ll touch briefly on the auto play option they have going for instant viewers on the web. It actually is a nice idea. To continue watching one episode after another without having to select the next one is great for the lazy person. I know they plan to release the option to all the game systems, Wii, PS3, X-box. I know one has it already, I just can’t remember which one. I have the Wii, and I know that the option isn’t available, and will be grateful when it comes. The wife and I do have marathon runs of shows occasionally, and not having to constantly pick up the remote to start the next episode can save on battery life. The only important thing is to have an option to turn off the feature. I have seen plenty of people hoping for this feature and it does make sense to offer such.

No I am not done with Netflix. I have one more large suggestion to add to the list. I think the length of the last suggestion will be quite sizable that I want to extent it to a third part of this series. As of right now, I don’t think that there will be a fourth part to my suggestions, but it’s hard to say right now.

Netflix, I love you really, but...Part 1

I’ll start by saying I love Netflix. It’s a great service, and been enjoying it for years. I doubt I would've watched even a fraction of the movies and TV shows if it weren't for Netflix. My problem with Netflix, and I believe I’m not the only one, is their website. Don’t get me wrong, they have a good website to navigate, but it can be much better. So I offer my opinions on how they can improve. Maybe they will see this and implement some of my suggestions. If not, I at least feel like I got it off my chest and in the open, even if no one reads it.

First off, the good, most everyone want to hear the good first. I love the categorization. They do a great job of breaking down the categories. Take action and adventure movies. Action classics, action comedies, action thrillers, adventures, Asian action, comic book and superheroes, crime action & adventure, foreign action & adventure, martial arts, military action & adventure, spy action & adventure, Westerns. Splitting them into so many sub categories, makes it easy to narrow down the search.

Next is the home page. They do a good job of offering many suggestions. Right off the bat, they have the top 10 suggestions based on what I’ve watched. As I scroll down the page, it offers categories that I would like to see. Movies or shows I might like based on what I just watched, even a section for new releases to watch.

Before I continue, I must clarify that my wife and I use Netflix for instant watching. So my suggestions are laid out for instant layout. I assume the DVD side is in a similar layout. So my suggestions may apply to that side as well.

For starters, they have two categories that bug me, recently added and new releases. Recently added I understand; movies that Netflix has received permission to finally release for instant viewing pleasure. Makes sense to me.

New releases on the other hand have me a bit confused. Are they new releases because they recently came out on DVD? Doesn’t seem to be. I have seen some movies that are several years old in the category. Also, if they recently were released on DVD and also instant then shouldn’t they now be considered a new release? In a similar respect, I have seen movies that were taken away from instant and then brought back, and some of them appear in new releases section. This also makes no sense. New episodes available for TV shows do make sense, but at the same time, they are recently added. All together, new releases category should be merged with recently added and then new releases category removed.

Back to those categories I so love. While they have the movies broken down greatly, when you get into a category of your choosing, you have two search methods, gallery view and sortable list.

The gallery view, to me, is the better of the two and what I use when looking. The gallery view shows the movie cover. Making it easier to get a better idea of what the movie is. In my opinion, being able to see what the movie or TV show is with a picture gives me quicker recognition of the movie or TV show, reducing the time spent searching. An issue with a lot of movies is remakes. By viewing the cover, it is easier to discern if I’m looking at the original or a remake. In some cases, I am not a fan of certain actors or actresses, so if I see their face/name on the cover, I skip over it. Or I could see a movie with an actor or actress that I didn’t know they made, and that can catch my eye.

The downside to the gallery view is I have no idea how they have it set up. Why some movies appear before others. It could be based on rating. But I see the star rating system all over the place. I could see a couple 4 star movies, then a two star movie, then a five star, so that isn’t the reason. The only reasonable conclusion I can come to is by most viewed appear near the first couple pages because as you get further into the pages for the category, the movies become movies that no one knew existed. Although occasionally I’ll see well known movies further down the list behind others that wouldn’t seem highly watched. But with gallery view, how they put them is how you see them. No way to sort through them in anyway shape or form. You can’t sort alphabetically, by year made, star rating, or by maturity rating.

This is where the sortable list excels. You can sort the list as you see fit. You can make the movies alphabetical, by year made, star rating, or by maturity rating. I love the ability to do so. But the downside is I cannot see the movie covers like in gallery view. Most the movies in every category I do not recognize by name and if I do recognize it, I stop to highlight it to confirm it’s the movie I thought it was. I find myself stopping at every movie to see what it is. I would say 75% of the movies I would skip in gallery view and with good reason. Finding them in the sortable list makes it tougher to want to see the movie once I mouse over to see the picture of the movie. With as many movies that Netflix has, if I can narrow my search time with gallery view, I will.

Netflix needs to merge these two options together. Get rid of the sortable list altogether. Make only the gallery view available. Along the top of each page you have drop down options to narrow your search or more convenient. Allow the gallery view to become alphabetized. Let me see the top rated movies. Here is how I think the drop down options should look/contain:

Alphabetical	Viewer Rating	Year	Movie Rating	TV Rating	Netflix Viewers
A-Z	5 Star -> 0 Star	Present-Earliest	R-NA	TV-MA -> TV-Y	Most viewed
A-M	5 Star only	Present-2010	NA-R	TV-Y -> TV-MA	Least viewed
N-Z	4 Star only	2009-2000	R	TV-MA
Z-A	3 Star only	1999-1990	PG-13	TV-14
	2 Star only	1989-1980	PG	TV-PG
	1 Star only	1979-1970	G	TV-G
	0 Star -> 5 Star	1969-1960		TV-Y7-FV
		1959-1940		TV-Y7
				TV-Y

These options should be mix and match. So if I want to see 4 star ratings of movies in the 1980’s from A-M, I should get my search narrowed down. It can be a great way to help the search process. I can weed out lower rated movies or shows I might not watch or discover new movies I didn’t know existed.  With all the choices, some search items won’t be able to go together, and there are set ups that once selected makes other choices obsolete.

Obviously this has plenty in it at the moment. This is not all my ideas, as I will follow up with more of my ideas in my next post. I understand my ideas have a lot of work behind them. If Netflix does these, it would mean a complete revamping of their website. But I think it would defiantly be a lot better. I enjoy 

Euphemism or soft language

My last post I talked a little bit on the term of euphemism. So I figured I shall expand on that. This post will be easier for me, since I have talked about euphemisms and used them for a couple of my college classes. I’ll take the easy route and copy and paste an essay I did regarding euphemisms. Hopefully you’ll find it informative.

            Euphemisms in language have been around for years. Although the use of euphemisms will never go away, there are some words and subjects that should not be euphemized. Some subjects have a sense of seriousness to them that should not be made to sound any worse than it actually is. Serious euphemisms cross over many subjects. I will focus on three subjects, military euphemisms, prison euphemisms, and some medical euphemisms. The three subjects that are not completely related, to show how euphemisms can extent over different areas of language.

            The military is great for their use of euphemisms. But the problem with the military is they create euphemisms for everything they do, and this includes serious terms that should not be softened.

To start things off, whenever our military is activated to go to war, one of the first terms taken away is the term of war. Although the public refers to them as wars, the military with the help of the government, wars are quickly hidden under different terms. Going back to the Korean War, it was referred to as a police action. The next war that came through was the Vietnam conflict. Although the next couple wars, the Gulf war (Operation: Desert Storm) and war in Afghanistan are referred to as wars. The latest war in Iraq is being called Operation: Iraqi freedom. All these were wars, regardless what you refer them to, so there shouldn’t be a reason to be called anything else.

            We have been in the age of nuclear weapons for over fifty years. We know how powerful these weapons can be due to the testing and the usage of these weapons dropped on Japan during World War II. With advancements in technology, it’s not a surprise we don’t hear the terms of A-bombs or H-bombs. But the problem comes with the renaming of some of the newer technologies. They refer to the group as devices, instead of even calling them bombs (Rawson 76). Two examples of different names are low yield thermonuclear device, or called a 5-megaton device (Rawson 77). The problem with these names is they hide how powerful these devices can actually be. The power behind these devices is equal to a million tons of dynamite. Some devices can be hidden behind the name of a tactical nuclear weapon. This essentially is another name for a mini nuke. The power of these weapons can be summarized in these quotes: “Even the tactical nuclear weapons supposedly designed for ‘limited’

wars were not an answer…some of these ‘small’ weapons carried a punch five times more powerful than the bomb that destroyed Hiroshima.” (Sorensen 165) “The main difference between strategic and nuclear weapons is the difference in range. Tactical Nuclear weapons have a shorter range but are sometimes more powerful than strategic weapons…the use of 10% of the 7000 United States tactical nuclear weapons in Europe would destroy the entire area where such massive nuclear exchanges occurred.” (Center)

            The final area of military that I will touch on is how they handle the death of people during a war. In war there are two types of people that are killed, active military soldiers and civilians. With military soldiers they are killed in action, they don’t deny it. But the problem comes when soldiers are killed on accident by their own side. This death is called friendly fire (Rawson 116). Besides being a euphemism, this term is also an oxymoron. There is no such thing as friendly fire when it means death by a gunshot wound. Civilians killed during wartime have a more hidden term. Anytime an innocent civilian is killed, they are referred to as collateral damage (Rawson 52). This term does not come even close to defining the severity of its meaning.

            The prison system has had many changes throughout the years, as well as the language used. The first stop is in the name of the prison system itself. While the name of prison is still being used, most facilities have changed their names to Correctional Facilities (Rawson 61). Even the National Prison Association has changed its name to correspond with the new prison change and have become the American Correction Association. The following was noted in 1972 in “The Official Report of the New York State special commission on Attica: Effective July 8, 1970…there were no more prison; in their places, instead, stood six maximum security “correctional facilities.” The prison wardens became “institutional superintendents”…and the old-line prison guards awakened that morning to find themselves suddenly “correctional officers.” No one’s job or essential duties changed, only his title. Certainly the institutions themselves did not change…To a man spending fourteen to sixteen hours a day in a cell being “rehabilitated,” it was scarcely any comfort and no reassurance to learn that he was suddenly an inmate in a correctional facility instead of a convict in a prison. (Mitford 84)

            There is also a different type of prisoner. This person is held for political reason instead of criminal reasons. These prisoners are referred to as detainees (Rawson 75). These detainees are arrested and then put into detention (Rawson 75). Detention, although sounds innocent enough actually refers to imprisonment without trial. So technically, being a detainee is worse than being a convict in a prison because a detainee has committed no crime and is being held in a prison without having a proper trial. Detainees are not in foreign countries and can happen in our own country as proven by New York Post columnist James A Wechsler’s response to his ‘Improved’ FBI dossier: My file reveals that from June 1942 until February 1945, I was on the FBI director’s list of Americans targeted for ‘custodial detention’…(Lavine, Wechsler)

            There is a crime that is committed, that works into the medical field. This crime is rape (Rawson 23). The act of forcing someone to have sex against their will. A very serious crime which most of the victims are women. But the term is not used as often anymore, instead it’s replaced with a softer term, so not to make it seem like such a serious issue. The most common use is calling it an assault, usually a sexual assault, or other times possibly referred to as an improper or indecent assault. Although referred to in different terms, such an act should not be made to sound like it’s not as horrible as it actually is.

            Rape does deal in the medical sense cause of the attack on the victim, usually ending in medical treatment in an Emergency Room. And when dealing with medical issues, euphemisms are once again used and again making events sound better than it should. Such a medical issue is abortion. The problem with the term abortion is that everyone thinks that it means intentionally killing the fetus, which it doesn’t. Abortion in general is the death of a fetus, but doesn’t mean purely intentional. But because the term has been deemed such, the reference to when an unborn fetus occurs that is not intentional; the term is called a miscarriage (Rawson 183). But a miscarriage is an abortion, but because of the common misconception we separate them do to the sound of one being nicer to deal with.

            But the euphemistic term surrounding an abortion has gotten to the point of choosing for or against an intentional abortion sounds nearly the same. One is pro life, the other being pro choice.

To someone who doesn’t follow closely to the subject of abortion, it would be difficult to tell the difference. With pro life being against someone having an intentional abortion, and pro choice is for having an intentional abortion. Even having an intentional abortion, in some cases it’s not referred to as an abortion. Some people refer to the procedure as a criminal or an illegal operation. Not voicing an opinion on whether or not I agree or disagree with an intentional abortion. It should be made clear that ending the life of an unborn fetus should not sound as calm and not so serious sounding pro choice. From the aspect of intentional abortion being bad, the sound of the act mustn’t be referred to as if it sounds like what was done wasn’t really done.

Lastly, I will enter the world of the doctor. Not all doctors are perfect, no person is. But there are events in which the doctor makes a mistake. In some cases, this can cause serious problems. Uncommon cases causing the death to a patient, a big problem. This was known for a long time as malpractice. Once again, this term cannot hide from being euphemized and made to sound a lot less severe. The issue of improper treatment by a doctor became a therapeutic accident (Rawson 280). If it resulted in death, it maybe referred to as a terminal episode, possibly therapeutic misadventure due to negative patient care (Lutz 230).

Euphemism can be infectious. In our changing world, in which we feel the need to protect ourselves from everything bad, we should be cautious of what we protect ourselves from. There is a certain level in which we must not run away from certain actions. Changing the wording for certain actions or objects does not change the actual meaning. Trying to hide or conceal how bad a meaning is by making it sound nicer should not be done. We must accept the reality of such things and not try to replace them because they scare us, instead they should be embraced and face them as they are.

While I hope no one decides to steal this for their own use, and if you do, I hope you get caught doing so. The only issue would be if you needed a works cited, then you’d have issues since I didn’t put them here.

My inspiration for this topic comes from the great comedian George Carlin. For the bit that got me inspired see the following video, caution strong language: