Wednesday, October 24, 2012

James Bond in his off hours

James Bond, he’s the ultimate spy. Save the world, get the bad guy, and get the girl all while looking good. He has traveled to exotic locations including space without batting an eye. Don’t forget the cool gadgets he gets to use along the way. I can’t help but think. What does James Bond do in his off time? Could there be things he isn't perfect at? Thus my following post of my thoughts.

Instead of just listing things, I have scenarios that play out in my head. So these will be more of small scene set ups in how I see them, and not just bullet point list.

Scenario 1:

It opens with James Bond sitting on a bench reading a newspaper. He’s wearing a hat, a nice fedora because James Bond wouldn't resort to wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. As he’s “reading” the paper, he’s watching a building entrance. Watching the people enter and leave, until the exact moment, when no one should be in the building, he gets up and casually walks to the door. When he gets to the door, James quickly opens and walks in trying not to be seen.

It’s a doctor office. Casually walking to the receptionist asks to be seen. The receptionist, without asking his name says, “ OK Mr. Bond, just have a seat and the doctor will be with you.” With a weary look as to how she knew his name, James sits down, opens his paper again in case someone walks in.

After a couple minutes, a nurse calls James into the back into the back. Once in a room, James insists on seeing the doctor, prefers a male due to the nature of his visit. The nurse agrees, but asks for the normal vitals, pulse, blood pressure, which James gives his o.k. The nurse leaves telling James the doctor will be in shortly.

A couple minutes later, a male doctor comes in and asks James what the problem is. With embarrassment he mentions how he’s been having pain and annoying itching in his private regions. The doctor asks how many sexual partners he has had. Where James rattles off every woman he slept with, i.e. every bond girl from every movie. Not really up for research and counting, I’d say it’s between 25-30 women. This causes the doctor to state that he needs to be checked for STD’s. The doc then gives him a prescription for some antibiotics, and suggests he picks up some condoms and learns how to use them. The receptionist would be able to give him a couple free if he wishes.

End scene.

This has always been a wonder of mine for awhile. How could he have slept with so many women and NOT have gotten a STD. With the names that some of these women have, you can easily figure they've been with their fair share of men as well. Of course, this may have happened and on several occasions. We don’t know what goes on between movies since the plots do exactly pick up where the previous films leave off, except for Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

Now I do have more scenarios about the off hours of James Bond. They will be for future posts. They maybe the next couple posts, I don’t know yet. Something may come up between now and then. But I’ll defiantly try to get back to the other scenarios.

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