Monday, September 24, 2012

Untold Stupid Stories of the ER


I have recently been lucky enough to be in a local Emergency Room of a nearby hospital. Why I was there or whom I may have or may not have been with doesn’t matter. Because it was the other people that night that got me thinking about this post.

On TV there are plenty of shows, real or not, that talk about weird stories, or even miraculous events to patient that have come into the hospital. Untold Stories of the ER depicts real events that have happened. The show is very interesting at times, from the doctor of a small hospital, so small that they don’t even have a maternity ward, try to deliver a baby in his ER, while another patient in near cardiac arrest at the same time. To the car accident that had a metal pole impaled through both the driver and the back seat passenger. Most the hospital drama shows tend to draw their storylines from real hospital events, with exaggeration at times to make it compelling TV.

But, as I sat in the ER waiting room, being a bit nosey, I overheard some things that came in to be seen, and either it was ridiculous or the patients made it seem worse than it was. For example, someone came in because of a toothache. A TOOTHACHE!!! I eventually inquired about it from a nurse and found out that toothaches happen quite often. What happens is the person will ignore the pain until it becomes unbearable. Then they call the dentist and find out they have to wait two weeks to be seen, so they come to the ER. Most they do is give the patient some antibiotics and send them on their way. This hospital does not have a dentist on staff or on call, so it maybe different at a hospital that has such access.

There was another man who walked into the ER, emphasis on WALKED in. I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t hear why he wanted to be seen, I assumed for his back. Why do I assume such? Well, after talking to the clerk, they told him to have a seat when he blurted out, very loudly: “I can’t sit down, my back is broken.” Now, by no means do I even come close to a medical degree, but if this guy’s back was broken, I’m sure there’s about a 95% chance this guy wouldn’t be able to move.

This is where my idea sprung from. For every legitimate case that comes through the ER for a real emergency, I would assume there are about three stupid cases that come in. This is a show I would love to watch: The Untold Stupid Stories of the ER. I know of one case that can be taken from the actual Untold Stories show. I remember seeing an episode, where a guy had broken his foot, and decided to make his own cast. He decided to pour cement directly over his foot to make his own cast. While it is stupid, I know the severity of the issue as the show portrayed. The cement dried directly on the skin cause even more problems than an already broken foot.

As a warning, the following paragraph/example is very gross, and should only be read if you really think you can handle it.

Another example, a story I once heard. A man came into the ER because of a potato stuck up his butt. The first question that comes to mind is one of the following: Was he drunk? Or how did a potato get up there? He was not drunk. Apparently the guy was with his mistress, and being unusually kinky, she put the potato up his butt. Unfortunately, the guy’s mistress did such a good job that they could not get it out. They had to come to the ER and he ended up having surgery to remove the potato. My guess, no one in the ER or OR staff had French fries for a few days.

This is where you should read again if you skipped that last paragraph.

If they can have shows on television talking about real cases, or even exaggerated cases. Then I want a show about the stupid, funny or outrageous cases that come in. The show shouldn’t be done in a cheesy manner either. No laugh track or host trying to make “funny” jokes. I think it would be more entertaining if the stories were being told with a completely straight face.

1 comment:

  1. Now that's a tv show is actually watch! I swear thats such a good idea, a lot better than all the crappy tv shows coming out that's for sure. Hey if you have time check out my blog at http://conquer-boredom.blogspot.com and help me out if u think something should be changed. Thanks!

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